DUMBGEONS & DRAGONS

Season 1 • December 20, 2017

E28 - A Winter Solstice Holiday

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Transcript

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Previously, on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

Uh, Stea slips and falling down 80 feet.

I'm going to use my Rod of Lordly Might and I'm going to like slide down it.

And you ride that ladder down, guacamole comes down and picks you up.

And you turn back, the hallway begins to undulate and the right turn opens into

a large dark room.

You feel like you're being watched back from this room.

All friends, do we really want to enter this dark chamber we can't see into?

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I don't really like the dark room.

So yeah, back to that other hallway.

You know, Laura, you turn to follow your friends and then you hear one of your

friends is a traitor.

Which one of you is betraying me?

Not again!

Nobody's trying to betray you.

The yawn T told me one of you is a traitor.

Well, there's your problem right there.

Johnny.

Oh, it's uh, there's some snake guys in there.

I see this and I will dash.

So you run into what you now see as this lit room.

You came to stop me.

It has nothing.

Yeah, that's what I said.

It has nothing to do.

No, that's what I said.

With this dwarf.

I just keep cutting her off.

You hear her in your mind and she says,

Now I must ask you to touch your friend.

As you are both walking towards Thea, all the other yawn T begin to crowd around

as well.

And she says, You must never come back here.

Can we take Varam?

She looks down to him and she says, Varam is of no use.

And she says, Stop.

And Flint and Newbara get your minds back.

And she hands you the chains that are around Varam's neck.

And you step out into the daylight and you look and you see Grancis yell down

from his airship and says, Oh boy, you guys done yet?

Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.

We are a fifth edition Actual Play podcast.

I am your Dungeon Master Russ More and with me today studying very hard is Amy More.

Super hard.

Is the new way we greet each other.

Also with me today is Carla Johnson.

Super hard.

And Tom Laird.

Super hard.

Thanks guys.

Now it doesn't seem so weird.

Yeah, now it seems totally normal.

That seems like we're normal people doing a normal thing.

This is how human beings function.

Yeah.

May start greeting people in my day to day life like this.

Ring ring.

Super hard.

See moms out dropping Addy off at school.

Hey Debra.

Super hard.

Guys, this is our this is our winter solstice first parter of hopefully only two parter episodes.

Happy winter solstice.

Wait, that's happy birthday solstice.

It's public domain.

It's public domain now.

It's okay.

Yeah.

Is it?

Yeah.

Happy birthday.

Well somebody used to.

Somebody does.

I didn't.

When did it switch to public domain?

It used to be Sony I think and they made like a bajillion dollars off of it

and then.

I think it was like two years ago or so.

Yeah about that where it was like oh whoops just kidding we don't.

But we're not going to give that money back though.

No no.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Well that's good to know.

Okay.

I don't have to take that one out though.

Nope.

Where you can listen to some great bonus content DM'ed by Tom Laird is on Patreon.

Hey guys.

We have six patrons now.

Yay.

And we are going to dedicate.

J-Con.

Stop it.

Stop it.

And we randomly dedicate an episode which I'm going to talk about that oopsie in a

second too to one of our patrons and that patron today is Cat Waterflame.

What a bitchin' name.

Right?

Yeah that's pretty amazing.

That is an amazing name.

It makes me think it's a D&D name because it's so rad.

It makes me want to immediately make her into an NPC but.

Yeah Ross can you do that?

I don't know what level she's at like.

Well she is at the $10 level and has given me a name to which I'm working on a character

for in the future.

This is new uncharted territory for us.

Well I know Adam took a long frickin' time to get me his name so he's coming

up too.

Classic Adam.

No it wasn't Grancis.

I will announce the name when they come up.

No that was my own volition.

That was a Russ More original.

All the greatest names.

Not a real name.

So thank you Cat for joining the community.

She says she really loves the she like binged through our whole campaign and then signed

up for Patreon right away after that.

Oh that's amazing.

It's hours of content.

I know right.

That is shocking and wonderful.

It is.

But crazy.

Cat you crazy.

In the nicest way possible.

Oh absolutely.

I just don't want to spend that much time with us but it blows my mind that other

people do.

I can seriously only stand you guys for about like two hours a week.

That's fair.

We're like those news anchors who act like they're really friends on the air but then

as soon as the cameras are off are total bitches to each other.

We're talking like Anchorman when it's like I'm going to punch you in the boob.

Or they're just Matt Lauer.

They're harassing everyone when the cameras are off.

Yeah back to bringing it bringing it back to political all the time.

That's nothing to do with politics.

No it's true.

I mean it ties into politics somewhere along the way.

That's a logical connection that you made.

Not me good sir.

All right.

Fair enough.

Anyways thank you cat.

We really appreciate you and your patronage.

If you want to join us on Patreon visit Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

The what day is it today?

It's December 22nd.

So those of you who are patrons of us and were before December 1st should have received

your holiday cards which is of a sweet design that I made myself.

Full disclosure when Russ said it was December 22nd I was like no it's not.

Right.

Yeah that's not how this works.

It's not even December 22nd it's December 20th because I can I can read a calendar.

Well it appears that you can't read a calendar.

I was wrong as it is.

Yeah so you should have received your holiday cards if you haven't I'm very sorry.

It's probably my fault this is past Russ apologizing for future Russ.

And one final touch of business our next episode which comes out I'm going to check

the calendar again just in case I'm wrong.

On January 3rd that one's right is our one year anniversary episode which will

have a party giveaways.

Depending on how this episode goes we'll have none of those well there might be might

be a party who knows but we'll have a cool monster from a listener of the

Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.

We're gonna have a cool monster from the Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.

From a listener of the Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.

Oh you didn't say listener.

I did say listener.

I'm gonna go roll it back in the tape.

Anybody else on?

Anybody else?

That we recorded has a lot of like no you were wrong yeah there's a lot of

playback and it turns out I'm right all the time.

Suspicious suspicious that the guy that does the editing makes it so he's right all the time.

Very suspicious.

You know what anytime you guys want to change that you just let me know.

Nope it's all you bud.

Yep that's what I thought.

Can you put in some cricket chirping sound effects for me?

Yeah perfect.

Or is that is that not free use or whatever?

I think that's I think that's pod safe.

I think I have a paid for cricket so it should be fine.

Yeah so let's play D&D.

You guys leveled up last time.

Last time we you made it out of the tomb of Diderius and gained a level and what

did you gain at that level?

We'll start with Carla because she is most ready that I can see.

Nothing too exciting at level 10.

Level 11 is going to get real rad.

Level 10 though I got a new type of favored terrain which I've added coastline to I

already have forest and swamp.

I basically do nothing with this but it's you know sometimes I remember it's a thing

that exists and make it helpful for me.

The other major thing I got was hide in plain sight.

So I can spend a minute to camouflage myself and like if I stay still then I get a plus

10 to dex on stealth checks so I can hide.

Yeah I picture it like that creepy makeup that PETA puts on in the Hunger Games game.

Yeah so I can basically do that.

It is also my history as a cake decorator that gets me these dope skills.

Careful he loses a leg in that book.

Spoiler alert for Hunger Games.

That's cool well I'll give you a little warning that those may come in handy for you

actually not just me telling you that to appease your character but

that could very well come in handy at some point in the near future.

Sweet.

How about you Tom?

What's Flint got?

For the champion fighter not a lot really changes.

I did get a second fighting style and I picked defense so my AC gets a plus one bonus now

and yeah that was really about it got some more hit points so that's cool.

What are you up to 600 hit points now?

Just like a cash million.

Oh nice nice.

I forgot to update my hit points.

Yes.

I did all my other stuff but not that.

Don't forget your hit points.

So yeah you add your hit points a hit dice plus your constitution don't forget that.

Oh I did forget that.

Flint what kind of dwarf are you?

Are you a hill or a mountain dwarf?

I am a mountain dwarf.

It's a really personal question to ask somebody.

You can't just ask someone what kind of dwarf they are.

Well I can and I did.

I was trying to make a mean girl's joke.

Side note it also does say mountain dwarf on my character sheet.

Yeah that's right again I have not looked at your character sheets in a very long time

so yeah that's cool no just checking.

Yeah the fighter was pretty straightforward.

How you doing Amy?

I'm good.

What you updating?

I'm updating I get a new spell in my fifth level spell slot very exciting.

That's going to be a real powerful one that's going to be incredible.

Yeah sometimes though the really powerful ones I look at it and I'm like I'm never

going to use that though there is one where I can literally reanimate or recreate a body

for a dead thing and it will live inside this body and inhabit it as a new it still

has all of its old memories but it is now like if Flint died and there was a dead

elf that was dead for less than 10 days I could put Flint's essence into this

elf and he would now live as an elf.

But I'm not going to pick that one.

That's creepy.

Because I'm the one who dies and so you know it's like when it's like when Joey's

character on days of our life ends up falling down the elevator shaft and going into a

coma and the only one who can save him was himself it'd be like that.

Some good writing.

Yeah so I'm going to choose I don't know how to say this Gaius?

Yeah.

Okay so I can place a magical command on a creature that I can see within range

and I can force it to carry out some service or refrain from some action or course of

activity as I decide.

Fun.

Yeah if the creature can understand me it must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or

become charmed by me for the duration and the duration is like 30 days he dies.

Whoa.

Yeah it must succeed on a wisdom saving throw and if it doesn't it takes 5d10

psychic damage each time it acts in a manner directly countering to my instructions.

But no more than once each day.

Elves get kind of creepy as they get more powerful.

I'm glad you're on my team.

Yeah I can't force it to kill itself though because that's the spell will end.

Yeah as soon as anything puts itself in danger it stops.

So you can't force it to kill itself.

No not in danger just if it is a suicidal action it says.

Yeah so you can't say go jump off that cliff.

Exactly or stab yourself through the heart.

But I can say stop fighting us so we can kill you.

Or you could have a buddy for 30 days.

You can't just have a new friend.

Just have a buddy.

So yeah that's um that's what I got.

I also got.

The internet tells me it's pronounced Gesh.

Gesh.

But you can pronounce it however you want.

Okay I'm immune to poison and disease.

I cannot be charmed or frightened by elementals or fays.

I got some extra hit points.

And that's that's pretty much it.

So that's your new character thingamadoodles.

You guys emerge from the tomb of Diderius.

And Grancis is overhead and he says uh hey hey guys it's I've been looking for you.

And uh maybe maybe we should probably get out of here because

that's probably a good idea.

So you guys uh he lands in an open area and your horses which are which are still there

all get on board.

And there is a holding cell for Vram down beneath beneath the surface of the of the airship

in the in the hold I think is what it's called.

I'm trying to remember.

Yeah sure we'll call it the brig.

That seems like a good term.

It's a ship.

It's like airship.

That makes sense.

Next time I'm going to look up ship terms.

And have those ready.

So he is there it's about sorry please go ahead.

Yeah so you guys lock him up down there.

Lock him up down there.

You got about a two-ish two-ish day two and a half day uh flight back to water deep.

Anyone want to play that crazy game with the dice?

We were so good at it.

We probably should.

We were so good at it.

Is Vram he is like pretty unhealthy yes?

Yeah he looks like he's been beaten and tortured quite severely.

So he isn't really at this point offering up much.

After kind of about the first day he kind of comes to a little bit more.

Well I know that we will probably all need a long rest so as soon as we get on the ship

lots of napping is going to happen.

Thea will meditate in her room for a little bit.

Like 20 minutes and then you're good.

Yeah that was me smoking weed.

Well you got a you got a bag that holds 50 pounds of weed.

So that's all she has in there guys.

I think it's funny that in game somehow there has become like well not even become

this has been since we originally started playing this game the like weed thing when in real life

this is not like something this is not like a part of our day-to-day at all.

It's really funny to me.

I don't think I've ever touched a joint.

It makes me laugh that it's like I don't know why we decided to put this in game.

I don't know four people less equipped to talk about accurately make jokes about it even.

I do feel like an imposter.

How can I accurately talk about this?

It makes me laugh.

You're just playing the character it's fine.

You guys rest up for kind of the first day that you're back on the ship

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and then you weirdly or a little bit more rejuvenated now come up to the deck and

Grancis is steering the way and he says what uh what went on down there with you guys

looks like you got beat up pretty bad there.

That's not my voice already already that's my voice.

Yeah that's it 88 miles an hour.

Okay what happened to you guys?

Grancis can you make some pancakes?

Oh shit yeah uh okay.

There I got rid of him and he goes he kind of you see him tap the steering wheel

and it straight it holds straight and he runs downstairs and whips up some pancakes.

Fantastic I hate that guy you guys I hate him.

I love his voice though not a name.

I will reserve judgment until I taste these pancakes.

Do you hear from down below you guys like you guys like blueberries blueberries in there?

Love them Grancis.

Sweet love them.

What are you guys doing?

Well he's whipping you up blueberry pancakes.

I pull out a deck of cards and ask if anyone would like to play a card.

Am I making any pancakes for the dwarf in the cell?

Yeah yeah right probably.

Okay yeah we should uh should we we should probably like chat with him or at least

try to chat with him a bit.

That's probably a good idea.

We could bring him pancakes kind of yeah.

Be like hey we saved you and gave you pancakes tell us what we need to know

and I remember what that is.

Which one of us three is he gonna Stockholm Syndrome over?

Oh uh well he's gonna like you the most because you got that belt that makes dwarves love you.

Oh yeah oh yeah all right perfect.

So you uh you guys eat your pancakes first and then go.

And then bring pancakes down for veram I think so.

And then Flint goes in wearing only his belt of dwarven charm.

Yeah BT Dubbs these are the best pancakes you've ever had.

Oh see I'm on board with Grancis now.

I begrudgingly um accept Grancis as one of us and I'm high so it's like.

You guys like the pancakes?

Best pancakes ever.

Oh the great Grancis.

Be a Graps or 12.

Good good good.

Okay well I'm gonna go uh take a take a pancake to go and go uh steer the ship.

You guys just hang out you know Mikasa is Sukasa.

What place is this?

I don't know.

Fuck.

Lordy.

Mikasa is Sukasa.

Gotta make sure we're hitting the 88 miles per hour.

Uh so uh Flint goes in.

Let's just hope the Libyans don't show up.

So Flint goes in uh only in this belt of dwarven kind with pancakes.

I can't wear all my other clothes and the belt guys.

I don't know if you can.

I mean it was the last thing said.

I would suggest that maybe uh Thea and I go in first.

He'll probably hate us because we're two of the least charming people that exist.

We saved him but we saved him.

I don't know I'm kind of charming.

Thea is very charming.

I am not but then certainly you know like good cop bad cop bad cop bad cop good cop.

It's right he'll be like oh god I have to deal with you and then

and then Flint will come in with this you know his dwarfness and his bitchy belt.

His dick hanging out and he'll be like finally someone I can trust.

Nothing dreams trust like a naked dwarf.

Right?

Okay so who's going in first?

We can go in together with pancakes kind of like uh.

Okay so you you open the door to the brig and you walk in with pancakes and he's uh he looks like he's sleeping.

Wakes up and he's oh who who are you are are you the three that keep fucking up plans for everybody?

You've heard of us.

You got that kind of familiar look about you like I seen a picture but the nose is a little bit off in the picture.

Well we did just save you is that are those the plans that we're fucking up?

Yeah with death your plan because we totally was your plan torture and then death because

we definitely messed that up by rescuing your ass.

Yeah no that was not part of the plan.

Uh no the plans I was talking about are like the dragon cults plans and you know.

Go on.

Well you know I don't want it.

What do you got there?

Pancakes.

We brought you some food.

Oh that would be great I mean I'm feeling a lot better after being out of them serpenty areas.

Speaking of serpenty areas this is when Flint walks in.

Oh god.

Who's the naked dwarf?

I feel so bad for Flint this is just happening.

This doesn't have to happen you don't have to be naked.

Okay sorry I had just had to make a serpenty joke.

I have to get the first.

No I'm on board it's happening it's canon.

Flint is also just a serial nudist I mean we've had talks with him about it before

but you know.

Well at one point I was a never nude but now I've shed that

now I'm full blown in the other direction.

How does that happen?

It's kind of believable it's like when someone quits smoking and then they're like

the most anti-smoking person that exists so.

That's true.

You've like really over corrected.

Yeah he's ripped off those jean shorts.

I steered into the skin.

What?

Veram reaches for the pancakes.

Who's holding the pancakes?

One of us.

Carla you're the least likable so you should probably be giving him the pancakes.

Okay okay so I give him the pancakes.

And he takes them and is voraciously eating them like he hasn't eaten in many many days.

So Veram what happened with the auntie what were they trying to get out of you?

Uh do you know I I don't uh nothing really I mean they tried to hold me hostage and

I fed them some line like oh I'll give you all the money in the world and it didn't really work.

Were they asking you about anything specific?

No no they didn't seem to know who I was or why I was there so

I mean it's fortuitous that you guys showed up because I said my people would come for me

and then you guys you guys came in and I guess they just kind of rolled with it.

Why were you there?

Uh well I mean where are you guys taking me?

Why were you there?

I was uh well okay how much do you know?

How much do you know?

I know it all.

Oh we know stuff.

We definitely know some things.

We are not without information.

You guys tell me where you're taking me and I will tell you what I know.

You know it's weird that you think you can negotiate with us because you're in a cell

and we just saved your life.

In the air.

So maybe you should just give us some information about what your plans are.

I snatched the plate of pancakes back.

What the cult's plans are.

Why you were trying to maybe screw over the cult?

Uh make an intimidation check there Karla.

Oh intimidate the fuck out of him Karla.

Oh I'm going to maybe.

No I won't I don't have very good bonus for intimidation.

Oh my god but I rolled a nat 20.

He peed his pants.

He's so scared.

He he looks kind of startled and taken aback by your abruptness and he says look okay I

wasn't I wasn't trying to do anything against the cult okay.

I was look I just I lost my mask and I was trying to find it with the divination pool.

That's all.

How'd you lose your mask?

Then those serpents up well I mean you put it down one day.

No seems like a pretty powerful thing to just lose.

You would think it was stolen.

There we go.

By someone and I lost it and I couldn't find it and I went to the divination pool

to try to find it and then the then the auntie showed up and they took me prisoner.

Did you get to ask the divination pool?

Uh yeah yeah I did.

And?

Uh well um.

And?

I mean it's okay the the cult of the dragon has it and if I go back I'm pretty much dead.

So there's my cards you guys are you guys I will help you wherever I can okay.

I can't go back there they will kill me.

Is flint looking a little sad that he didn't need to use his belt

slash naked form to charm the storm?

Now can that man please put some clothes on?

It's the reason why he gave all the information to begin with.

What's gonna happen with the naked dwarf?

Why is he here?

Just I'll tell you anything you want to know just make him get here.

He's the world champion of what?

All right I leave and go get like my actual clothes on.

I like that you don't say anything.

You said no word.

You stand behind us naked and then once we hear what we want to hear you just turn around and you leave.

It's the best like interview like strategy ever.

Yeah it is.

Carla thinks she rolled a really good intimidation check for the whole time.

It's just them toms.

I got Tom to roll a passive intimidation check in the whisper chat.

It's fine it's good.

I can't go back there.

Great why don't you tell us something we might need to know.

Tell us everything you know.

Yeah like what do you got?

Well um well what okay you tell me what you know and I'll fill in the blanks.

You know nothing.

Oh Russ you know we can't remember what happened before the exact interaction that's happening.

How close is the dragon cult to raising Tiamat?

Um like if you put it on a scale of like one to ten I mean they've got a lot of the pieces.

Because that's the way you tell time.

You didn't use that scale at all.

What can you tell us about the Drakorn?

Oh you want to know about the horn do you?

Yeah they got the Drakorn at the well of the dragons with just about everything else there.

And the well of the dragons is?

Oh you guys really don't know what's going on.

Okay good let me just fill in fill you in here okay.

Now hold on I'm gonna fill you in but I need some guarantee that I'm gonna be treated with

an ounce of respect once I land wherever we land that you still haven't told me where we're

landing.

We will let you wear clothes.

I went and put my clothes on didn't I?

And we just gave you the world's best blueberry pancakes like.

They were.

God.

They were they were pretty good.

I haven't had blueberry pancakes like that since Mimima made me blueberry pancakes.

It was super good super good.

Okay the well of the dragons it's in an extinct volcano in the northern end of the

Sunset Mountains.

Cool.

So they've got the Drakorn there calling dragons from all over the who knows it

and that's where they got the white mask and any of the other

masks and all the worm speakers usually hang out there generally speaking.

Pause.

What's a worm speaker?

The guys who wear the masks.

Why are they called worm speakers?

Because worm is a baby dragon.

Guys new information for me.

Did you guys know this?

Like worm W-Y-R-M correct?

Yeah.

Oh all right unpause.

Yeah that's information that I had previously in my head.

Tell me something we don't already know.

Roll a persuasion check.

What am I persuading?

Uh 17 persuasion 19.

All right so you guys know a little bit that's good.

Persuading him not to think we're idiots.

Yeah I guess so yeah nailed it.

In your personal opinion having been a part of this uh certain organization

what would you?

Would not recommend as a as a as an employer like I would not put them in the top 70.

They kind of uh they're kind of kind of bitches.

Okay what what would like a one star yell.

Yeah that's that's what's a yelp.

What would be the uh the thorn in their craw.

What could we do that would really fuck some shit up for them and disrupt their plans.

We do not want TMET to rise.

Let's just leave the card zone on the table here.

That's just going to be bad news for everybody.

I don't care who you are.

Yeah no no that's uh now that I'm not in the inner circle

and I probably would be murdered on sight it's uh probably best if that doesn't happen.

Oh well I mean there's there's a couple couple waypoints a couple organizations helping them

out that uh that you might want to like shut down uh like the wizards of the fae.

You probably want to try and disrupt whatever they got going on because the wizards of they

are the actual ones conducting the the will be conducting the spell uh that will be bringing

TMET back and you said there was a couple of groups helping them out.

Oh yeah uh you probably could find uh some folks that are still in the inner circle

who got a little they're a little disgruntled employees yeah they're not so happy with

what's going on there like they don't want TMET to rise but they're just kind of

pushing papers as it were uh you could uh yeah you could track there's a couple guys

stationed or they were last stationed at Xanthal's tower.

Any names?

Oh yeah yeah uh the uh the two high ranking cultists that you're going to find there

are in command you're going to find uh Nergoth Bladelord and Jorgen Paul uh and uh

uh Iskender Iskender he's there too.

Are these humans or these dwarves? Could you give us just a brief description?

You need to know Flint needs to be naked again.

No no you keep your clothes on bud.

Ah I mean oh okay.

Well Nergoth he runs he kind of runs around he's uh with like the demi-litches uh he's

kind of an un like an undead kind of guy he's pretty easy to point out he's a big big

dude looks like a like his face is falling off all the time it's kind of gross um yeah

but he he's easy to find Iskender he's a he's a human he's kind of a wizardy guy

and uh he's an older fellow long black hair once you get in there I mean they

have their tower their quarters and stuff name plates on the door yeah I mean it's

pretty easy to fight we're very organized in terms of in terms of that sort of thing.

And what about old Jorgen?

Jorgen yeah he's he's a human as well but yeah they're I mean Nergoth especially he's kind

of part of the old guard the uh the demi-litch is there and he's unhappy with the way things

are going well yeah he doesn't want Tiamat to come back because Tiamat's one bad bad

and uh and he's the bad and he wants to bring the Dracoliches back yeah what's the deal with

the Dracoliches uh yeah well the Dracoliches they they they're like they're undead dragons

and they just kind of go around bringing back dead dragons as as Dracoliches

ah so creating an army of undead dragons yeah I mean he's the kind of guy you want

to have on your side and why are these other guys unhappy they're in the same boat

you know they uh they don't want Tiamat to come back they want power for themselves

they've kind of feel that Tiamat's playing Severin and when she comes back she's just

gonna wreck all the shit and no matter where you are in the ranks clear in the house

well if I was Tiamat that's what I'd do it's dicks

yep yep that's fair that's fair wouldn't have offered you pancakes if we were in the flip

situation just putting that out there uh but you're not wrong there what else you got

oh man it's good for now go have a nap yeah we're we're gonna be bringing you to

our peeps in water deep so if you can you know mull over what you've told us today

refine it a little bit get a little more detail I bet you're gonna be saying it again soon

yeah that's cool it'll probably happen off camera so that's good it's good

run what's a camera what she's just kind of awkwardly back out of the room there what do

you do thoughts are yeah probably abruptly turn and leave uh we'll be back because we

probably will realistically yes it's a great way to act all right if you could whip me up some

more of those pancakes that'd be super nice too no talk to grants us about it all right just

don't let the naked guy bring him back okay oh he'll bring them oh shit and he won't be

using his hands to hold the plate oh my god I don't understand what that means but

I don't understand what kind of bAlydince we think I don't know it just it just nobody knows

just came out nobody knows but everyone's getting a real weird visual flint got an attribute

bonus oh god so we leave yeah yes god we leave

awkward interaction that's our most of them I know you already said this for us but I guess

I want to ask grants is how long until we get where we're going it's still a couple days

yeah yeah uh yeah you go back up and you ask him that and he said well you know we're uh

uh we've been going for about a day we got about a day left so you can just kind of hang out

uh I'm never gonna get this voice on the first fucking try uh yeah yeah and just kind of kind

of chill for a day it'll be fine I go down to where the horses are and I I spend some time

with tiny you go down but they're on the deck I go up to where the horses are and I spend

some time with tiny and I brush him and I tell him how pretty he is

thea was feeling really bad about leaving them and just glad it all worked out kind of play games

and rest and uh find uh ways to kill the time uh grants makes more pancakes for dinner because

he knows you guys love him so much it's a lot of carbs a lot of carbs oh it's easy

to pack flour and blueberries and blueberries fresh fresh blueberries amazing he just had them

uh so you guys uh finish out your journey and you uh see up ahead grazas yells so we're uh

we're just about here oh oh boy it doesn't look like it's very good down there um but you see

the city of Waterdeep itself looks quite it looks fine like it doesn't look like there's any

damage but uh the the walls look like they've taken some damage around the city there's

scorched earth all along the outside uh looks like there has been a recent or many attempts

of breaking into Waterdeep right now it looks kind of calm but like much of the other

growth and cities that you've seen traveling through ferun it is quite disturbed at this

point as you get closer to Waterdeep two hippogriffs mounted by guards fly up and

fly beside the ship and they yell to you and say what's your business in water deep

we're bringing a prisoner the guard that was speaking looks to you and says oh

oh i'm sorry Nulara and and flint it's you you're perfectly welcome to go in land and

uh deal with your prisoner as you as you see fit what happened here uh there's been many

attempts to uh to breach breach into water deep uh by cultist members and by other groups

but we've managed to stave them off so far good job thank you thank you and uh they uh

escort you into water deep and Grancis lands the airship down um and you are greeted by two

other guards bearing insignias of the harpers and they come up to the ship and say uh Nulara

thea flint it's uh it's we're happy to have you back the council uh has been has been

concerned uh that you might have uh have died in some of the battles that have been going

on across Faerun but it's wonderful to see you back they'll be fan it'll be fantastic news i

will uh take escort you to the osin if there's anything else you need we can sort that out

along the way i grabbed by the shoulders i shake him i say what year is it um well

and then i just laugh and then start to walk away oh okay uh we have a and i lean out the

window and go you there boy what day is it today

it's a thursday sir you're supposed to tell me it's christmas day rust get with the program

it's not though it's not a christmas day christ doesn't exist in this narrative what

just some guy down the street we have a prisoner a high level prisoner that needs to be

taken somewhere secure yes yes of course uh uh bring him yeah bring him we will escort you

and him down to uh down to the down to the brig and and then take you to the osin and you

can you can deal with uh deal with matters at hand great do you want some pancakes

oh no i i'm fine i just ate um they're really good Grancis you're the best

fucking pancakes you've ever eaten well maybe later maybe later um and you uh you bring veram

and the four of you grants his tags along uh take veram take him to the prison and

you sign him in there with the guards and he takes you up to go see leo's

my goodness it's been so long since we've seen you we thought we thought the worst i

know it's only been a month and a half but we thought you'd be back quick after we heard you

were back dropped macoth back at the arcane brotherhood nothing's ever simple with us leo's

in we follow our hearts yeah yeah the spirit of the adventure uh i you know i've gathered

that from dealing from from us dealing together uh that's great we brought veram the white he's

no longer uh let's say affiliated with the cult of the dragon he has a lot of interesting

information oh you went right to get veram well that's wonderful news um and you said you brought

him he's alive he's alive and disgruntled with his former employer wonderful that is great news

um we shall have him interrogated and find out what we can get from him the council meets in a

few days and they would bid you to join them we can't get them together any quicker than

that so if you need places to stay we will put you up but if there's anything anything

else you've found out please please try and make note for the council meeting and i will

make sure that they know that you will attend uh yeah i think we could use a little a little

bit of a break until then right guys of course yes accommodations would be nice yes yes we'll

get you the finest accommodations where you can rest and and relax and uh and then we will

see you again in a few days if we need anything from you before then we will be

sure to send someone to call for you and he uh he asked the guards to take you to the tower

where there are some some sweets that you each have um and as you guys lollipops

no rooms uh is there sweets in the sweets though there is a there is a spread of sweets

and yeah and other baked goods uh in each of your rooms so you can you can gorge yourself

as you see fit um as you are all going into your rooms you see grants this also is is going

into a room but he already has a key um and he yells down as you guys enter your rooms and

he says hey uh hey uh maybe you know in a few days uh i was just looking at the calendar

there down in Leosin's office it's uh it's the winter solstice celebration maybe we could uh

you know if you guys weren't doing anything got plants sorry they slammed my door have a

dinner at my place i shoot him a thumbs up why have you become the fonds

i'm not giving him two thumbs up okay hey i'm gonna take that as a solid solid yes

okay i'll see you guys i'll be there great i'm looking forward to it i'm gonna whole

i'm gonna do some cooking it's gonna be great and he skips into his room he's quite happy but

uh unless you guys say anything else to each other and you just ghost into your rooms and

i've already left i'm already in my room i'm eating sweets i'm four cupcakes and like marzipan

in flint and Nulara you you as well are marzipanning i am going to like i'll go into

the room but i don't need or want this room i'm gonna you know maybe like get some sweets

of course i'm not an animal yeah i'm not a monster clearly i'm only human i need all the

all the good stuff um but i'm gonna like piece out of town as much as i can um i don't know

how secure it is like outside the city walls and honestly i probably don't really care like i

want to get to the woods i want quiet and i want to sure just like have some time to commune with

nature a little bit away from everything you uh you try to get out of the city um they have

all the gates pretty heavily locked down and even though you are Nulara they don't allow

you pass but there is within the city mount water deep which is an entire forested area

which you find yourself drawn to and it's away from the city and there's an entire cliff face

that overlooks the ocean and you make your way up there

flint what are you doing right away uh probably grabbing some sweets and then meandering down

to the old smith and shop sure see if there's anything i can uh take a gander at sure yeah

you there are uh within immediate walking distance there are a couple smitherees

smith shops uh one called sarin's fine swords and one called brian the swords masters uh let's

go check out sarin's shop you walk into sarin's and it is your is your standard

run-of-the-mill blacksmith um and in there you uh immediately see a younger female dwarf

who's working on looks like a piece of plate armor um and she looks up at you and says what

can i do you for thea what are you doing uh thea smokes a big bowl of weed in the middle

of her bed just in quiet she's meditating at the same time enjoying herself um she's also

brought over several plates of the sweets and is stuffing her face that's just what she's

doing right now yeah so thea spends a better part of the afternoon partaking in her own

supply and uh and gorging herself on fine sweets and then what does she do for the

rest of the couple days oh for the rest of the couple days nice and relaxed uh thea heads down

to peruse through the different shops is there a feather shop by any chance uh yeah madame

mistress's feathers wonderful thea would like to go in there and browse around of course you

open the the door to the feather shop you immediately are struck in the face by feathers

oh thea's happy and they just brush past you and you walk in and you hear a voice from the back

say oh yes come on in it's welcome to madame mistress's feather shop what can i do for you

i need your biggest fluffiest most colorful feathers oh my golly we just got a fresh batch

of hippogriff feathers in let me go get them from the box here and she runs back and brings

out a box of enormous silky hippogriff feathers these will do well how many do you need all of

them well all okay do you you got some okay that's that will be uh 50 50 gold and i give

her the money wonderful wonderful what are you making with these these fine feathers

i just smile at her take my feathers and walk out okay well pleasure doing business

come back and tell your friends about us Nulara you've made camp up on mount water deep

and you're overlooking the ocean and you see uh there are plenty of ships coming and going

and what is Nulara doing honestly like uh i have a i have a campfire and like kind of a

rustic camp and i'm trying to trap you know some some small game to eat like i am used to living

rough and i want to be living rough so i'm whippling and staring at the fire and kind of

just relaxing but in a very rustic way there are some things that i look for in the woods

to get my gifts ready for my friends you spend the bulk of your time out there and on the second

day that you're out there um you you've seen them coming and going but you notice hippogriff

guards kind of converging just a little bit north from where you are and that's kind of

caught your attention how many are there probably lots hey you see them coming and going

but you've seen about about seven or eight different hippogriffs throughout different parts

of the day are they behaving suspiciously is that why i know no no no you just noticed

that they're all kind of coming and going to uh the same same same-ish spot from where you've

you've plunked yourself down well like i saw go say hi i was thinking you were saying they

were far away no no they're on the mountain there um you uh you work your way through uh

through the forest and you come to about the point where you thought they were they were

headed and you see a large airy um which has brandished the insignia of the city guard of

water deep and as you get closer you are greeted a little abruptly by two human guards

and they say oh what are you doing here i've been camping on the mountain i saw you coming

and going i guess i just wanted to come take a look at what's going on see these hippogriffs

up a little bit closer the uh there's a male and a female and the male is speaking to you

uh the female kind of kicks him uh and gives a knowing nod towards you and he looks again

and says oh oh i'm sorry new laura uh i didn't didn't notice you i didn't expect uh didn't

expect any any any of the higher-ups to be to be up here um yeah yeah feel free to come look

around this is where we this is where the hippogriffs it's where we we stable them

and they come and go from here and what are your names i'm i'm philip uh and this is uh

eva it's nice to meet you it's a it's a pleasure to pleasure to meet you um are

are are your friends around or is it just you uh just just me just me i like to be

outdoors more than i like to be indoors of course of course yeah uh let me uh let me

show you show you around um and she ushers you towards the open barn door of this of

this area okay i want to go see the giant animals you follow uh she ushers you in and she follows

in quickly behind you philip stays back and uh you walk in and the six of the eight stables

have hippogriffs in them and you walk up to these enormous creatures they are slightly

bigger than a horse as you would normally see them even bigger than tiny and they have

one of them opens their wings and it is an enormous almost 20 foot span

and the they have the fur of a horse up to like the chest and then it's all covered in eagle

feathers up to its face and across its wings and they have giant eagle clawed talons on their

front feet and horse hooves on their back they are all a majestic kind of very bright gray and

white and eva says uh how long how long have you have you been been fighting against the

cult of the dragon uh it feels like forever this is the first break we've had in months

how about you uh well i've i've recently joined the city guard it's only been

it's only been a couple months um but uh but yeah i mean the the stories that we've we've

heard of you uh throughout the guard uh and your friends uh have been been quite quite the

tales that you've you've gone through and you know we we would if if you know if we

hopefully we make it out on the other side maybe maybe you wouldn't consider training some of us

or working with some of us maybe even joining the guard yourself i might be a little forward

of me uh well maybe like i said i i like to be outdoors more but it seems like you're

working with animals and i i definitely love that let's try and get through stopping the cult

before we make any plans beyond that we're still a few a few steps away i think from

being anywhere close to reaching our goal with that she uh her face kind of flushes a little

red and she kind of looks to the grouches yes yes of course of course uh priorities first

eva how close can i get to one of these they're incredible and i'd love to i don't know

would you like to ride one oh uh oh uh is that possible of course of course it's possible i mean

it's your Nulara thea and flint who would stop you and she goes to uh saddle up a couple of

the of the hippogriffs before you say anything else this is amazing have you ever ridden one

before no you're in you're in for a treat she finishes saddling up the hippogriffs and you

mount on top of one uh maybe make an animal handling check i'm good at that as you kind of

step out as an 18 ava looks to you and says you just have to be confident oh it seems you know

what you're doing okay um well let's uh let's take a spin around the bay and and then uh

come on back your hippogriff kind of leads you out and you soared out of the airy and down

over the trees and glide right along the the surface of the ocean and you spends

better part of a day out flying around on hippogriffs with ava it's the best day of my

life it's not even my real life it's the best day of carla's life never mind new laura new

laura yeah you're kind of nailing it flint you've just entered seren's fine swords and you've been

greeted by a female younger looking female dwarf and she says what can i uh what can i do

you for i was wondering if i would uh be able to convince you to let me use your shop for

a few things while i was here in town oh i use my shot well it's it's not exactly my

shop let me uh let me go ask my dad and she yells to the back hey dad uh guy here wants to use the

shop and you hear a grumbled yell from the back use the shop who's gonna use the funny storms out

and he looks up at you and he says you think you can use a tool here well i i have my own

tools i just don't have a shop so i was wondering if i could uh you know pay a little

little gold and maybe use video supplies and and make a few things for my friends

pay me a goal okay you pay me a gold and you show me what you got there city boy let's see

what you got going on all right what what am i showing him russ you know you know you you pull

you a amino uh i you can show them whatever you want but uh whenever you want to make a

kind of a smith's tools check i think you've got a proficiency modifier for that

um at least you should oh yes yes i do that is a 24 so you get to work uh on a piece of iron

that they've got set there and he's watching you as you're shaping it and forming it uh into

what are you forming it into uh i'll say a a war hammer so probably just the head of the

hammer this so you've got a solid piece of iron that he's got laid out there and you

begin to work on that heating it and hammering it and you kind of catch him out of the corner

your eye you hear him say well oh oh okay well he's got a bit of a smile to him and he says you

know what you're doing okay you pay me you pay me five gold a day for whatever however many

days you need you can use the shop for whatever you want you just gotta stay out of

our way if we got jobs to do okay that sounds great says good good all right says to

his daughter you just keep an eye on and make sure he doesn't walk away with anything okay

and he storms back to the uh to his office in the back there and she begins to work on

just looks like she's working on a sheet of plate armor i think is what i said if it isn't

i'll change it it is now he says uh uh you uh you you look familiar do i do i know you

from somewhere uh jeez i don't know i've been here before but not for a while now

name's flint flint flint the the flint i don't know maybe the one who's going around trying

to stop the the cult for the council flint uh yep guilty as charged fire beer oh my goodness

wow we're in the in the face of a famous person here i see well my name's uh desa it's

pleasure to meet you and she comes over to shake your hand nice to meet you too desa

um well what uh what you said you're making some things for your friends here yeah yeah i had a

couple uh little gifts in mind so i was gonna gonna see if i could rummage through your

supplies and see if i could uh find some fun things for them of course of course well

anything of ours is yours here so uh as you as my as my dad said he gets a little grumbly

sometimes but yeah five gold a day and you shall play with what you will i'm not very good at

rhymes apparently it's kind of endearing isn't it a little bit but you know it's uh something

we can all work on sure sure um and she gets back to work on the uh on the plate armor and

you what do you do i'm gonna go through the um i guess the the supplies see what they got going

on because i have a a few things in mind so i need some green star metal some fire brass

and some salarian true steel he wasn't wasting time while he was standing around and he was

learning all sorts of stuff right uh yeah so you you sort through the the bricks and

everything they've got there and you find the the green star metal and the fire brass just fine

but you don't seem to find any of the salarian true steel uh disa quick question for ya do you

guys happen to have any salarian true steel around here salarian true uh let me take a

look in the let me take a look down down in the cellar there let me see what if i can

find for you how big of a piece do you need uh not very big just uh i don't know enough to

to make a small something or other with okay i'll go see what i can find we might have some scraps

down there she goes down uh back through the back office there um and meanwhile somebody walks

into the front and looks at you and says uh hey i uh i got a job for you here oh so uh this

isn't my store let me go let me go get the guy in charge isn't yours okay and i uh i go over

to where sarin came from and and yell for him do you yell dad

papa and he he comes grumbling out and says what what we couldn't handle a little job okay

let's see here what could i do you for no this uh yeah yeah that guy needs some help okay

okay and he goes over and they're they're talking and uh disa comes back up with a small

piece of salarian true steel and she says uh well this is i think this is the last piece

we have we should have another shipment in soon but hopefully this does it for you and it looks

to be about the size you need for whatever you're doing how convenient it's like it was

meant to be uh thanks disa yeah yeah of course anything else just give me a holler will do

and uh you you spin around and uh the the old man's stand in front of you and says uh

you want to you want to earn a you want to earn a couple bucks sure what do you need

this guy needs uh he needs a sword whipped up i don't really want to do it uh maybe

maybe i'll pay you to do it you seem to know what you're doing with a hammer

uh tell you what i can use the practice i'll just do it for you pro bono he gives you the

specs on uh on the type of sword and uh and type of steel that this guy wants this

sword made out of and says all right well uh if it's messed up at least i didn't pay you

for it so yeah you do what you will and he walks back into his office confidence in me is

overwhelming his business sense is interesting i know he's like i don't want to do this job

why the fuck do you have this this uh smith's shop then mister you don't want to build stuff

what are you doing uh so what do you uh do you set to work on the sword first or do you

set to work on one of your trinkets first oh i'll get this sword done first i think

you grab the steel that he's looking for and you set to work and disa says uh well he usually

he's getting older uh he doesn't really want to do a lot of work very often anymore it's

interesting that he trusted you he must have really impressed him but uh yeah well all

right you you do a good job there you should probably uh take over the store then at some

point there disa yeah well that's that's the plan hey he's been he's been kind of

kind of we've been having a less and less business through since uh guy down the guy

down the street opened up brian the the sword master yeah i saw that uh it sounded pretty

flashy yeah he's got uh he's got a bigger shop than what we've got here so he churns

things out a little quicker he's got more people working for him so they tend to go to

him but uh yeah i mean there's a few a few diehards who know that uh you know that my

dad sarin he uh he puts in he puts in a good day's work usually apparently not today um

and uh and churns out much better product than what uh than what brian has but uh he's got

bigger he spends money i think he i think he's got a deal with some of the some of the

military and try and i don't know shut out smaller business who knows picked up a little

bit since this whole dragon cult thing though so yeah we'll see we'll see if the business lasts

to the end of the year and i mean i am i am next in line for it so just a stirring indictment

well i hope i hope it lasts for you then yeah yeah me too all right well sorry i will i'll

let you get back to get back to your work there and she she turns and gets back to

working on the piece of armor there plot twist flint never comes back to the three of us

every time we check in with him he is just working at the smith shop totally i'm just

working for free at the smith shop trying to turn it around um remember that time that

that flint used to be with us that was great didn't he have like a million hit points

he was he was by far the strongest so it's it's too bad he's there his muscles are

getting bigger all that smithing work but he's just not here to work with us anymore unfortunately

uh so uh sad so flint you continue working on uh the sword and uh following your trinkets and

carrying on conversation uh with disa for for the rest of the day

thea what are you up to stoned and got your feathers they're like a bead and bobble store

by any chance right next door you didn't have to walk far in fact you walked all the way around

the city looking for the beads and bobble store and it was right next door uh so you're walking

to the beads and bobble store betty's beads and bobbles betty i'm looking for the beads

and bobbles oh betty's not here dear it's me enid enid i need some beads and bobbles

oh okay yeah just help yourself there are you looking for a specific kinder color

uh i need some glass beads and bobbles oh aren't we a little hoity-toity fancy pants pants okay

and she leads you towards the glass and beads and bobbles i choose some some choice beads

and bobbles what you got there you got some hippogriff feathers and glass beads and bobbles

looks like you're making something real fancy there doesn't it might be

uh i choose i don't know like 12 beads and or bobbles um well that'd be uh that's all you need

there okay well that'd just be 12 beads and bobble that's you know that'll be 10 silvers

i hand her the 10 silvers and i ask her if there is a fur shop anywhere close

if there is a fur shop anywhere close a pelt shop yeah yeah you can go down to the uh to the first

first no i'm sorry leather leather well what do you need you need leather or further i need

leather she looks close into your eyes and she says oh you okay you sure you need the leather

okay oh i need leather you look like the type who needs the leather dear she says just a

couple blocks down you'll find uh oh henry's leathers oh henry leathers oh henry leathers

well i also find a delicious peanutty chocolate bar i mean one can i know right

you could go for an oh henry right about now oh henry's leathers it's right down

i'm giving landmarks now i better keep these in in check yeah oh henry's leathers he's got

the finest leathers in town i tip my invisible hat to her and i leave the store and i walk over

to oh henry's uh leathers little cut scene enid says oh she's stoned off her rocker

as the door closes and you walk into oh henry's leathers usually i'm like a really

like fia is a functional high like this is her general sure kind of uh but not today

today she's celebrating today she's in the winter solstice spirit sure um i i enter with a flourish

i've got my feathers i've got my bottles i bust in like and i slide in and there's nobody in

there okay the wind set in my sails a little bit i start to browse around looking for a

um like a deep green um thick leather you begin to look through all the they've like stacks of

different hides and leathers and everything that they've got there and you hear a cane

and kind of an unsteady step come from the back there and he says oh what oh oh a customer

oh uh what what can i do for what can i do for you they're pretty less i understand why they call

you oh henry oh he just said oh four times oh yeah oh yeah i'm looking for some fine leather

to make i would like it to be green to make what oh yeah i made one of those last week

i used red instead of green i need green i needed to be thick and of good quality

he kind of stares blankly off into the distance i said thick and good quality i heard you my

dear i was just falling asleep he slowly walks over like patients trying slowly

to one of the larger stacks of of hides and he's i'm gonna i'm gonna you see him trying to

lift and he's like struggling to i'm gonna need your help my dear i think it's in this pile

here it's down below here yeah right right here he points you to where it is and gets you to

i i i rummage and help lift you pull it out and it is the finest greenest

thickest leather you've ever seen is that what you're looking for it is exactly what i'm looking

for do you do any engraving on these engraving yeah bossing i don't know what do you do with

um what yeah i do i do all the leathers and what she what you said professional

yep i've been in this business for 87 80 17 years it's not a number

hmm yeah

uh okay uh i would like um three feet of this leather and i pass him a piece of paper

oh on it is what i would like to have nice fully amazing that's really good really whisked me away

oh i see here on this paper what i would like to have embossed or in great whatever happens

to leather i'm not sure i think embossed is the right word that looks like a dwarf in penis

it's not he flips it over oh yeah no those are doodles this side okay this side

i would like to have this embossed all over the of course right yeah yeah you come back

tomorrow i'll have this all done up for you um i just gotta ask for half now and half when

you pick it up though okay uh so i just need to you know two two gold pieces i hand him two

gold pieces and then i'll catch you on the flip side and he slowly got it oh henry drags

the leather back into his embossing emblazoning and doodling area and uh yeah he is only slightly

concerned about what's happening with that piece of leather back there anything else you need or

what's going on with you nope that is that is good for that but i would also i'd like

to go out and find um like where would i find like metal tacks from a metal tack shop i'd like to

go to the metal tack shop yeah you you're wandering around trying to find a tack shop

and you walk into sarin's fine swords was that the bell on the door yeah oh it's fantastic

i walk in and i'm like good sir 24 of your five flint oh hey thea i see him like wielding a hammer

and like he's filthy and sweaty and i'm like what do you work here no i just uh just getting

in some practice figured while we were here for a few days i'd get some smithing in

um uh do i do i place my order with you is there disa steps forward she's like no no no

you can you can deal with me dear what what can i do what can i do for you i i just need

some fine brass tacks made for some leather work that i'm doing sure how big do you need

them about half inch okay i hold up a sign behind her that says overcharge her she's a

rube says yeah okay um how many did you need 24 24 all right well that'll be

yeah we can probably have that ready for you tomorrow we got a couple orders ahead of you

but we can have it for you later tomorrow i'm in no rush don't trust this guy he whips it

out all the time oh really and i turn and i leave and then i yell i'm good for it

she didn't pay i yell she says she says to flint does she normally not pay for things

yeah she does that i'll i'll pay for her stuff don't worry about it okay that's fair okay and

she uh she goes back to work go back to new laura landing the hippogriffs into the

hippogriff

i feel like that's not a real word i don't know not only because a hippogriff isn't a real animal

but hippogriff is what i have a problem with like that can't be what it's called it's an

area i liked it although like the owl is and uh ava hops off and leading the hippogriffs

back in and she said that was the most fun i've had and i mean i you know there's been

cult fighting going on but that's been the most fun i've had in such a long time

you know i made friends with a dinosaur a while ago and i thought that would be the

coolest shit i ever did but this is better dinosaur that was amazing holy shit you guys

do crazy things that was incredible thank you so thank you that's all i can say thank you

that was amazing it's my my pleasure my pleasure anytime you need you need a hippogriff or anyone

to tag along you just let me let me know uh oh okay uh thanks ava thanks for all your

hard work you're doing too to help fight the help fight the cult i think we're gonna do it

i i i have faith i have faith every every day now i'm gonna just go back to my camp

just just exhilarated sure yeah you uh you bid your farewell to ava and philip who's still just

just guarding the area and uh and you head back to your to your camp anything anything else you

kNulara's doing uh no i i spent some time in the woods i hunt for some small game

i just hang out now that was that was a lot of excitement and probably enough excitement

for me until i have to get back for uh for the meetings i guess before before the meeting i will

go back to that suite eat some more sweets maybe have a bath you know get ready to like

be in company again of course yeah donnie uh donnie is with you he says uh well uh

well that was the best time i think i've had in a long time there it was the best donnie

is the best thing we've ever done so good so good we should we should do that more

often where we just go live in trees and stuff because that was better than fighting biting

dragons i'm tired of that shit anyways i agree donnie let's let's get this cult thing wrapped

up and get back to doing what we want to do yeah living in the woods let's do it and uh you

guys spend the rest of the uh reasonable time in the woods and then you head back to the

to the apartment or or place provided uh flint you spent the the kind of the better part of two

days trying to get your your stuff arranged and the jobs that sarin has thrown your way

which has been more than one um and you have spent some time talking with disa and uh you

feel a bit of a connection to her after spending you know spending two days working

side by side with her putting together all of uh all of these jobs that you've been doing

and uh on your on your last day there sarin comes out and he says so you know i know uh i

know you said pro you know pro bono pro bono free which i took is free but you know

he hands you back the 10 gold that you handed him and hands you another 10 gold he says you've

done some fine work for me there and uh i gotta i gotta give you a little bit more and says thank

you uh thank you for your for your work here give me a little bit of a rest i've been trying

to keep up with that brian guy and he's shady business that guy need me to uh need me to

go talk to this brian guy you can go talk you can talk to anybody you want in the city

i don't know what you i don't know what you tell them well you just you seem to think you

shady so i can go talk to him see what's up well i mean if you got some time no rush because i know

you've just kind of gathered from what you've you've been talking about with disa and questions

he's asked that you know what you're what you're doing he says uh you know no no rush maybe

maybe next time you're passing through town here maybe uh just stop in and uh see what's

going on in uh in his hut and maybe report back you know see what's going on i could

do that that'd be great and he goes back into his office uh and you finish up the last project

you're working on um and disa says uh well i uh it sounds like it sounds like you'll be back

i'll be back and i throw her the 20 gold put that to good use thank you uh well i i hope

i hope i see you again i shoot her a thumbs up of course i cannot get my shit together

we're here she's looking for a meaningful connection

more fun when i don't play along with us we we knew but we didn't really know until now that

flint will die alone like now we know oh my god that's fair that was really special and as

you uh flip your thumbs up and leave no no come on i give her like an actual goodbye

okay uh so you guys you guys say your goodbyes and as you're leaving theo walks in to collect

her tax t a c k yeah what's up what's up what's up oh she's back she's still high

uh two days is it a bender i don't think it's called a bender um i hand her

i don't know how much these tax costs i already paid for him she just hands you the tax i wait

until flint walks out the door i watch him

and you guys are staring at each other as he's walking past the window and he kind of like

walks down like as if on an elevator an escalator

classic an escalator yeah or like he's pretending to walk downstairs yeah that too

no he's like gliding oh yeah he is sufficiently freaked out what kind of technology is this

there's trains in this world there could be escalators i turn toward her and i say

i know he's already covered it he's like that how much do i owe you

uh he he he paid it up it was it was just a couple gold it's fine i'll hide it in his

room somewhere fair enough untoward to have a friend pay for their own solstice gift

that yeah well no no that's that's solstice gift no you guys you guys

celebrating in a day or so we are oh that's that's very nice oh maybe you should come by

oh well maybe maybe i will where are you guys where you guys celebrating oh just up just up

just over um at the just over and out uh at the brotherhood yeah at the brotherhood um the

castle uh at the castle at the castle yeah oh oh okay uh should it should i just ask for

for you or yeah for me for flint and you're sure you thea yeah okay yeah did i say for me

for flint for thea yeah yeah she kind of says well has a little smile and says okay well i'll

do that i think that some of us would really like to see you there hands you your tax and

says well i will see you tomorrow tomorrow is winter solstice celebration yes it is tomorrow

i take off my invisible hat and a flourish and back out of the door

door closes just weird as fucking stone people have ever met

um and you go back to the leather shop and you walk in and again there's nobody there

i just yell oh henry oh

oh oh hello you're the soft i meet him halfway oh thank you thank you here's your

embroidered stuff got i hope it's unembroidered but it plays in emblazoned and embossed it's you

look at it and it's fine is it covered in dicks

no okay all right i like they had to roll can you roll for the edge of my seat please

you know two two two more gold and then we're good i'll give you one more and a kiss on the

cheek oh fuck i don't respond to that just trying to pay my bills here lady i give him three

gold pieces a kiss on the cheek and i say happy winter solstice happy winter solstice to you my

dear nightly

hello there and merry winter solstice to you it's me your dungeon master and bringer of winter

solstice joy ross More thank you for joining us for episode 28 of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled

a winter solstice holiday pretty on the nose i know i hope you're enjoying the episode we

all collectively had a blast recording this one and talk about it almost on the daily

how well we feel it went it is on the longer side but winter solstice is the perfect time

to take some downtime and get to know our adventures a little deeper which is what we

were hoping for i wanted to take a moment to say thank you for joining us and sticking with

us for the last year our next episode will be our one year anniversary episode and it's been

a crazy year that from a podcast side of things has gone better than we ever could have imagined

we launched the podcast made some great friends with you our listeners as well as some of the

other amazing podcasts out there that we have mentioned on previous episodes make sure you

check out our friends of the pod page at dumbdragons.com to hear from all of those

amazing folks i think 2018 is not just going to be a great year for Dumbgeons and Dragons but

a great year just as a whole and i can't wait to try some new things and continue on this

great adventure with you so again thank you and merry winter solstice i mentioned as usual off

the top of the episode that we are on Patreon and i may have mentioned that i made an oops

with some of the reward levels i don't know if i went back to that or not the episode

dedications i originally had at the five dollar level but in my haste i'd been giving it to

everyone so i mean good news for everyone i've made that small change to the rewards levels

to make sure each tier is getting appropriate value for their contribution to the community

if you are already a patron thank you from the bottom of our hearts and if you were a

patron before december 1st you should be receiving your winter solstice holiday card

soon if you haven't received it already if you joined us after december 1st up until

today i have still sent you a card however it will be to you later because that's how time

works thank you though we appreciate every single one of you so if you want to check out

our Patreon community visit Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and for as little as a dollar

a month you'll have access to all of the amazing bonus content we have including episodes

and all the other great rewards that we have at the different tiers oh uh you can also find

us on spotify now which is pretty exciting i think when we were recording this we weren't

sure if we were going to be approved or not so there are some jokes in the blooper reel

alluding to the fact that we might not make it in but we did and now you can find us on there

if you regularly use spotify or if you know someone who does just let them know that they

can find us on there all of our socials are listed at dumb dragons dot com including spotify

or you can find the links to share with your friends and family who may be into us in the

description below along with every other link mentioned today the next episode will be out

january 3rd 2018 exactly one year from when we first went live with our first two or three

episodes and it will be the wrap-up episode to this one not to give away too much in the episode

coming up and it will also kick off our january of giveaways 2018 gifts for all or those who

follow the directions that we give i'll come up with a better name i promise we want to start

the year off with a bang so make sure you are caught up and keep listening to and following us

throughout january to get in on the great giveaways that we've got coming your way

back to the episode let's see if i roll high on Grancis's meal again he's been doing really

well for himself i'm kind of proud hopefully that keeps up merry winter solstice and if we

don't talk before all the best to you and yours during the holiday season and happy new

year we'll talk to you again in 2018 and you guys all separately get back to your apartments

📢 Mid-roll Ad Break

and it's the next day all your trinkets have been wrapped and you uh you hear Grancis yell

down the hall he's like oh boy dinner's getting ready down here banging on the walls are we all

in the same room are we in separate rooms no you're in separate rooms you're like a it's

like an apartment style it's like a hotel essentially where they put up their their traveling

guests and stuff i need a couple of the sweets in my room just in case what Grancis

made of shit sure so based on past experiences it won't be but i'm still having a really hard

time because his name is Grancis and that just really rubs me the wrong way i believe my room

i guess get ready to go have dinner Grancis is uh you walk up to his door and he is dressed

in his finest top hat and tuxedo tails wow i didn't realize it was this fancy clothes

and he says welcome to my humble abode fia walks out takes one look at Grancis turns

around goes back in changes into fancier clothes she for sure had a bathrobe on

that is art imitating life amy

um maybe i love it it's my favorite look of yours thea does that and he's patiently waiting by the

door uh he was mid-bow when you kind of came around the corner but he held the bow until

you came back and then stands back up and closes the door behind you and comes in and

says a feast is served and then there's a knock at the door and he's he looks around and

flint thea new laura are all there and he's did did we invite somebody else uh maybe i don't know

that makes it sound like you invited somebody else i don't remember who did you invite i can't

okay go in the fucking kitchen and get another table setting if we invited somebody else you

gotta tell me i quickly like i bustle into the kitchen because i'm wearing fancy stuff

and that's how thea walks when she has fancy things on she bustles he opens the door and

disa is there and you see them having a brief conversation and disa enters the room and says uh

hi hi everybody uh flint come on in disa i come out with a big smile on my face and a plate

i put a plate an extra plate down everybody sits down around the table and

Grancis says well it's the uh it's the i didn't know disa was coming i've

hold on he runs into his back room and you hear some banging and clanging and

ripping of things and just things being torn apart and then he comes out a little bit his

hat's a little bit of skew straightens it up and says okay well it's gift giving time we do

gifts before dinner who goes first oh i do all right thea what do you got

um to Nulara the bitchinist bitch that i know a scabbard and i hand her a hand crafted by yours

truly leather scabbard uh embossed with protective runes i'm making all this shit up you guys i

don't know if that's a thing the i love it what i had him emboss on it was protective

room you should write it down because i can't keep up with you scat oh no okay it's it's up

to you carla you need to write this down because it belongs to you okay okay so it's

like a deep deep emerald like four no more of forest green um scabbard that attaches onto

your belt or there's a loop that you can wear it as like i don't know like over the shoulder

i'm not like a purse i don't know um for flame tongue to go into and it's embossed

with runes as a protective spell uh that ensures that your sword may never be taken from you

without your permission it also has um brass it is held together by shiny handcrafted by flint

maybe brass tacks um and there may or may not be an embossment of a dwarf penis on there

we're not sure i didn't look carefully it is whatever you told him to do i rolled for it

it could have very well been dwarf penises but it wasn't i would have given it to you anyway

uh to flint i hand him a feather fan it is delicate it is it is large it's comically large

um it is um bedazzled at the bottom with um glass baubles and beads

and i just say you'll thank me later uh and for Grancis i hand him a it is a scrawled

old old notebook um that is filled with the recipes from uh my elven clan that i've had

for a while but since i've been on the road for so long i have not been doing any cooking

and since that seems to be something grants this is in two i hand him that and i say do

your worst which is a really weird thing to say to give someone a gift but the is high

right now so it sounds super appropriate oh thanks it's actually it's actually a really

touching gesture she just gave her like family's recipes to Grancis he's flipping through and

he's like oh thank thank you thea hey thank you very much thanks thea flint throws a thumbs

up flint's like don't know what i'm gonna use this for but i'm sure it's gonna come

in handy in battle am i right i can only assume it won't it's not it's not for battle flint come

on now i i didn't tell me what it is for i nope i'm not gonna i tip my invisible hat

people have picked up a lot of affectations that we have never had well thea invisible

hats and thumbs up it's the winter solstice miracle thea's as high like the highest she's

ever been it's been a very stressful few months for us so it's true you know i just

thought i'd let loose a little bit do a little high shopping make some questionable presents

i don't know i like it well my my present is beautiful and i love it and you obviously put

a lot of time and effort into it so thank you you're welcome who's next

next fuck it i'm next and he hands everybody a bag disa included and you all kind of simultaneously

unwrap them and they are sketched pictures of each individual person standing next to

Grancis including disa wow he did that super fast in the back room you guys

yes that's impressive and they are i don't know what to say they're in very nice hand sculpted

metal and wooden frames with very nice ornate beads and jewels and gems put throughout them

they're very beautiful and this and the sketch sketches are like exquisite like they are

lifelike Grancis is there anything you can't do oh i have stories but nope nope i don't

think there is those look great Grancis thank you Grancis oh anytime does disa respond at all

disa says this is i don't know you or when i was gonna say this is mostly just awkward

well i don't know you or when this this pose would have taken place but it's beautiful thank

you thank you i'm i'm sorry i did not that did not bring any gifts um i just i just came hopefully

to do partake in the company but thank you very much Grancis oh no problem i love it

when you talk to yourself sometimes i just like to talk to myself i know it's just really not

you get lonely sometimes i know and then it's

oh god okay i need to get i want i i reach into my pocket one hand in each pocket and i pull out

uh a handful of oak bark and i'm like thea hold out your hand i do it i'm super excited

just loosen my hand i just hand her some oak bark and then i reached my other pocket

in my other hand i give her three nutshells and just kind of look at her like uh

i i look i

sorry how many nutshells three three nutshells i kind of not specifically i know you would know

this being the nature buff you are uh sure let's just say like they're acorn shells

that seems reasonable uh i'm sure you know because you're so magical what you can use

these for but um that that bark that handful of oak bark you can use to cast the spell

bark skin and with those three nutshells you can cast the spell confusion thank you so much new

ara only one use each of course but those are the components you need to cast those spells

flint i i made this for you and i and i and i reach into uh to another pocket and i pull out

a rabbit's foot oh nice this rabbit's foot will will bring you luck i mean that's that's

what they're for right i mean so so i've been told in the past so that with that rabbit's foot

you will get one d4 extra roll to use once a day this is your lucky rabbit's foot nice

uh i also give uh donnie some jerky that i made but you know i've just been feeding

that to him but that was the present that i got for donnie for winter solstice

okay first up i reach into my whatever the hell i have these presents in probably a bag

i grab a package that looks like it's a uh just a chef's knife that's all wrapped up

and i give that to Grancis oh this looks oh feel the weight on that look at that

that's like perfect and he he runs back into his kitchen he pulls out he brings out a

carrot and he chops it on the table he's like that's perfect action

thank you that my good man is made from auricalum and it will never need to be sharpened

well that doesn't sound like the stone that you were looking for in the thingamajig but

okay that's good i like it because i added it afterwards oh you were there for two days

it's all good it's all good i also thought that yeah since we're going to Grancis's house

he's probably going to give us something so i better have something for him i like it

yeah thank you all right um to donnie i give him a little green star metal dragon claw

glove oh wow there but the dragon star claw he puts it on this is pretty it fits like a glove

and i know he doesn't use his claws for much but it will give him a plus one damage bonus

well there you go and he gets to look like michael jackson yeah he does because he only got one

and to Nulara uh i just say why don't you take a closer look at flame tongue and i've

replaced the handle of flame tongue when she wasn't looking it's now a you didn't have

right sorry it's now a fire brass handle and it lightens the sword so she can add plus one

to her hit attack like for her opportunity to hit thank you flint that's that's incredible

and to thea i give her a charm bracelet made from salarian true steel that is

and uh it has a moon is the only charm that is on it is a little moon charm well because

you know she loves her some uh moon damage i forget the name of the spell but i know it has

moon in it i'm also a druid of the circle of the moon oh even better than doubled up on the moon

theme uh and thea that charm bracelet will give you a chance to reroll a wisdom sage

but i guess one per day thank you flint i get i run over and give you a big hug

hug received grants says oh that's a good good winter solstice celebration gift

giving if i've ever seen what's been many many a year since i had one of these so it's nice to

nice to have you guys around really is i know we've we haven't known each other that long

but i appreciate you coming by and he says well let's uh let's dig in and you have a feast of

the finest bird that they've that he's managed to find and various

like fidget roasted vegetables over an open fire and uh and he uh everybody dishes out and they

dig in and you are all discussing you know things that have gone on and telling stories

and you all begin to feel a little funny

and you look to grants and he says oh oh hold on and he goes and looks at his

he comes out with a big dusty old book and he looks at it and you're looking at him as he's

reading in this book and he's shrinking in size but so are you says oh fuck guys i don't

i don't i don't know oh no and you guys shrink down to the size of a thumb and you are quickly

surrounded by two or three dozen tiny very colorful frog-like people and they're screaming

for the sock for the sock for the sock

music in today's episode was by Kavin mcleod of incompetech.filmmusic.io

uh does anybody remember what they did last time for your own personal game

that was that the weirdest way to to ask that question do you want a summary or do you want

me to talk about what happened when we leveled up i would be happy to do either all right you

guys leveled up let's uh let's do oh shit um and you guys do a shit uh and you guys

uh

fuck and you guys leveled up last night it's gonna be that kind of game what here let me let me run

you through what happened while that siren was going i rolled a d20 and was like fuck yeah i'll

add that to my hit points wait that's not how it works no that's not it at all i'm sorry i

called you not likeable that wasn't what i that's okay now that's canon i'm not likeable

i know but did like the real carla die a little bit inside because you're like me and very much

like being liked oh carla desperately wants to be liked new laura could not give a fuck

she likes you guys but generally doesn't care doesn't care at all merry christmas

tom spent the better part of this interaction naked yes that's right flint yes well

actually i don't know who knows we don't have video skype on no one knows anything about

that what's a hippogriff is it a flying hippopotamus what harry potter come on now

come on it's like it's a flying harry no flint has been just just just taciturn this whole

time other than the then his exposed penis he's barely spoken

because his nudity spoke volume it's true you know you're right it really did you're right also

i've been working on attaching like stats to these gifts i'm gonna give you guys so it's

good you guys have been doing all the talking oh oh it's magic why did you tell us not to

sing and you were literally the one doing it you can't handle it because he said he

that we should into now who needs spotify right oh forget about spotify that's not

Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production